the rage(?) within

yesterday, i got a message from someone, asking my permission to do something, and of course i allowed. then later in the mids of night, i received a 'thanx' message, and i replied; telling why i gave my permission earlier. the reply later on sure gave me a stab, right into my pulmonary artery ( i could hear the shout! ) and suddenly, i felt my left hand aching, and the wall in front of me cracked (kiddin yo, there was already a crack on the wall, but the pain was real ).

seriously,if the same message was from somebody else, i would just laugh.
then later on, i received two apology messages. i closed the book that i supposed to review for tomorrow's (today's) quiz and went to sleep. it was not that i mad, but...i needed to sleep. i really don't know how to get angry anymore, for i left my anger far behind, years ago. for my anger had brought tears to many. i had had problem with my anger management back then.

this morning, i apologized to the person for being rude last night ( me = scary + monster). i thought it was my fault; replying the 'thanx' message at the first time. or maybe i could just blame it on her premenstrual syndrome. everything has already cooled down, i reckoned.

as for the quiz, i felt like a tauhu sumbat waiting to be dip-fried in the hot boiling coconut oil, or like a katak pisang ( banana frog? ) under a coconut shell in the way of amoking war tanks, or like whatever! a total idiot, i was [like]. i couldn't answer even the easiest question. i gave out a big sigh. there was no one i could blame it on, except myself.

me: self motivated.